Jessica McFarland

I walked home from work the other day. I logged four miles in an effort to shake off the boredom of my usual routine.

My route took me over Tower Bridge, that stately yet functional symbol of London. The first time I saw it up close, I was struck by the grandeur of it. That plus the Tower of London itself close by put me in mind of kings and wars, love and death, and all the associated pains of a long, long history.

These days, it’s just a bridge crowded with tourists. I tried to remember how it used to make me feel, and I developed an acute and dizzying nostalgia for the days when London was fresh and new. (Not advisable for when many feet above a body of water.) The wonder and difficulty of my first few months here became edited into a warm glow that creeped over the corners of my vision.

I took a few deep breaths and kept going.
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On one of the first glorious days of late spring, I donned flip flops and decided to go for a walk after work to explore my neighbourhood. I brought only my phone and my camera and had a mini-adventure, which I documented with the camera. (Not the phone, I’m not that technologically advanced.)

I walked up quiet residential streets. I met many commuters on their way back from the train station. I stopped to take a picture of a lamp post:

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It’s late; time to go home. Luckily, the bus stop is just across the street. Let’s see when the bus is arriving…

14 minutes, are you kidding me? But the red LED sign tends to be surprisingly accurate. Still, this bus is supposed to run every 10-13 minutes. That’s what it says on that sign there. 14 minutes is a joke. And why is the one after that only 6 minutes later? Clearly there is some sort of conspiracy going on.

You know what? I’ll go a different way. Docklands Light Railway. It’s just down the road a bit. I have a travelcard, it won’t cost anything. And trains can’t get caught in traffic. Which way to the platform? It’s just one stop to Deptford Bridge, there will be plenty of buses there. This is a brilliant idea. How long till the next train?

8 minutes?! Darn, I’ve just missed one! But there’s no point going back to the bus now. I’ll just stand here and try not to look like I’m paying attention to this guy trying to hit on that Japanese exchange student.

Oh good, a train. Not long now till I’m home. No drivers on these things, I hope I don’t get stuck in the door and dragged to Lewisham.

Okay, Deptford Bridge. How do I get out of here? There’s the stairs. I’m out. Where am I again? Look, there’s a bus stop. Look, there’s a bus! Quick, I need to get over there! Come on, little red man, change into a little green man! I need to get that bus!

Darn, missed it. And another. Ooh, I’ll get that one there. I’m nearly home! Just need to get on the bus…

Why is that bus pulling over and turning on its emergency lights? “Excuse me, bus driver, where can I get a bus to New Cross?”

The other side of the street. Darn. Have to go back to where I was just a minute ago. Come on light, change, change, oh no! That’s the bus I actually want. Probably the bus I’d have been on in the first place if I had been willing to wait 14 minutes. Although, I could also get that bus…oh, I’ve missed it as well.

Right. It will be ages now before another one comes. I’ll just start walking, it’ll give me a sense of getting somewhere.

Hmm, I’m between bus stops now. Wouldn’t it be ironic if…oh, great, there’s a bus. No, of course it won’t stop. Of course I can’t run forwards or backwards quickly enough to catch it.

You know what? Screw the bus. I’ll bloody walk. How far is it to my house, like, a mile? Or so? Not more than two. I think. I don’t care. I’ve had it with these stupid buses stupid DLR stupid Transport for London conspiracies. It’s not raining, and these people probably have better thing to do than kill me tonight. I don’t care, that there’s another bus, and there’s yet another. I’ll just walk, and put one over on the stupid bus. I win. You lose, bus.